The Dark Secret of Social Media

People are liars.  People don’t disclose everything.  The current social media trend – total transparency – just doesn’t happen in real life.

There have been a ton of top ten lists about ‘using social media correctly’ lately, and while I think that they generally have the right idea, I don’t see a lot of value in them.  Most of the people reading these lists and linking to them are really just patting themselves on the back for doing it right, and people that don’t know how to engage in social…probably aren’t reading blogs (as much as the zeitgeist is micro and aggregation right now, we shouldn’t forget that blogs are social media).

THE rule of socializing online is the only basic rule of socializing offline: act like a functional human being with something interesting to say, don’t get on anyone’s nerves and people will like you.  If you’re using social apps to represent a brand online, either as an outward-facing employee or someone operating a branded account, the not getting on anyone’s nerves part is important.  Which means being aware of who your audience is.

Former news correspondent and new media strategist David Henderson recently called out a public relations pro for exactly that.  Henderson’s post shows that while social media – Twitter in this specific instance – can be a great communications tool, it’s also easy to get caught acting like a tool.

The subject of Henderson’s post, who goes by @keyinfluencer on Twitter, made some disparaging comments about Memphis while en route to a meeting with FedEx – who is based in Memphis.  Unsurprisingly, some FedEx employees saw the comment and took some umbrage (which is the normal reaction – I may not love living in Scranton some days, but I will defend my belief that there ain’t no party like a Scranton party* to the bitter end) and reacted negatively.  Mr. Influencer apologized, but it was clear that the ’social media expert’ wasn’t paying attention to his tribe while they were paying close attention to him.  That kind of behavior leads to mutinies.

Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to be pent-up and censored all the time.  Have fun and have personality – that’s the only way you’ll really get value out of going social, anyway – but know where the line is and respect it.  I have some friends who use Twitter as an outlet for their internal monologue or sounding board and that’s fine for a person who can act without being associated with a brand, but if you have your own online business, you don’t have that luxury.

“But Jeff,” you might ask, “isn’t that kind of self-censoring inauthentic?”  Well, yeah, under the current, en vogue definition of authenticity as total transparency, I can see how you’d think that.  However, total openness just doesn’t exist in the real world.  Are you totally transparent when helping your spouse or significant other pick out an outfit?  Do you give your server at a restaurant a painfully honest assessment when they ask, “How is everything?”

Be human instead.  Humans aren’t transparent; if they were, that would be gross.

*Which, incidentally, don’t stop.